


Something to Live For

by Fenchurch87



Series: The Way of the Warden [18]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 14:03:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16517864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fenchurch87/pseuds/Fenchurch87
Summary: Solona Amell and her companions are ready to return to Ferelden after finding a cure for the Calling. But with Alistair gone, what is the point in carrying on? Originally written in response to a writing prompt on /r/dragonage.





	Something to Live For

Solona held the metal disk carefully in both hands, slowly turning it to allow the symbols etched into the surface to catch the light. This was what she had come for. This was the answer. “But what use is it now?” she muttered bitterly, letting the disk drop to the ground with a clatter.

Ivan whined softly beside her and gave her a reproachful look. “Sorry, boy,” she murmured with a sigh, scratching his ears and then reaching down to retrieve her prize.

“Commander?” She looked up to see Rhodri Mahariel approaching from the direction of the docks, copper hair shining in the midday sun.

She smiled sadly at her old friend. “You're going to have to stop calling me that,” she remarked. “Did you have any luck?”

“We found a ship that will be travelling East tomorrow. Saira and Theo persuaded the captain to make a small detour to Amaranthine. I think it was equal parts bribery and threats.” Rhodri chuckled briefly. “Zevran has gone into the town with Lira and Tirrian to buy more supplies.” He paused and glanced at her, concern apparent in his hazel eyes. “Are you ready to leave?” he asked gently.

Solona fought back a wave of irritation. She was growing tired of being treated as if she were made of glass, as if one word out of place would cause her to shatter. But she couldn't blame her companions for that, not really. They just didn't know how to act around her anymore.

“I'm not going,” she said in response to Rhodri's question. “I've decided to stay here.”

Rhodri's eyebrows shot up to meet his hairline. “Stay here?” he repeated. “But– Why?”

“There's nothing left for me in Amaranthine. Not anymore.” Rhodri opened his mouth to argue, but she cut him off. “Two things have kept me going for the last ten years: fighting darkspawn and Alistair. Now I have neither. Steinkopf will force all of us out of the Wardens as soon as he finds out we've been cured. He'll be thrilled about that, no doubt. It will finally give him an excuse to replace me with somebody more... agreeable.” Thinking of the First Warden made her mouth twist in distaste.

“And what will you do here?”

She shrugged and stared into the distance.

“You're giving up.” Rhodri sat beside her on the stone bench and cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Is that what Alistair would have wanted?”

She squeezed her eyes shut against the tears that suddenly threatened to spill over. “Don't hit me with that. Please. I feel guilty enough about everything as it is.”

“Is it what he would have wanted?”

“No,” Solona admitted, “but he isn't the one who has to carry on without him. He doesn't know– Oh, what does it matter?” she cried. “He's gone, Rhodri! Nothing I do is ever going to change that. This is never going to change that,” she added, thrusting the metal disk into her friend's hands. “You take it!”

“No.” Rhodri pushed the disk away. “Solona, I can't pretend I know what you're going through. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to Zevran. But I do know that you would never let me give up on life, no matter how much I wanted to. And I'm not letting you give up either.” He tapped the disk. “Make this your new purpose. Take it back to the Keep and offer the cure to anyone who wants it. Study it and figure out how it works. Make more so we can keep the Blight out of Thedas.”

“You could do that just as well as I could.”

“No I couldn't. The Wardens fear the unknown. They would never trust me enough to believe in this. But you– I know you hate it, but you're the Hero of Ferelden. You could persuade them. You could bring real change to the Wardens.”

Solona sighed and wiped her eyes. Her old friend was right. She couldn't abandon her mission now, not with so much still to do. She would see this through to the end. “Alright,” she said. “Show me this ship you've found.”

As she followed Rhodri towards the docks, Ivan trotting at her heels, she felt in the pockets of her robes. She found the letter from Skyhold on one side, the rose on the other, and remembered a vow she had made several months ago, another task that she had pledged to fulfil.

“I will find you, my love,” she whispered, as her fingers lightly brushed the petals. “I promise.”

 


End file.
